Memorial Day

Decided when I got up this morning to make a  run down to the Piggly Wiggly across town to get some of the delish Faygo soda in celebration of the holiday. It's been so damn hot so I wanted to get it out of the way early. Sweating is so so unswanky and gracious classy ladies never sweat

I was almost out of the complex when I got flagged down by Doreetha, a lady there that is missing both of her legs, something to do wtih her blood sugars and meth. Doreetha isn't able to get a Hoverround for some reason, but she does have a wheelchair. She wanted to hitch a ride with me to the store. Her idea was to hold onto the back of my hoverround and I'd pull her wheelchair along behind me.

This time nothing bad happened, not like when  Cyndia stood on the back of my old Rascal and fell off, accusing me of trying to kill her. Doreetha is a sight more sensible and steady than Cyndia was with her Coke bottle bottom glasses and lack of decent balance.

We made good time down to the Piggly Wiggly except some jackasses kept honking, pointing and laughing at the two of us trekking down the road.  One big jerk even took a picture of us, after I yelled at him for stopping, staring and laughing. I yelled at him to take a picture because it would surely last longer. I could tell he was warm for my womanly form.

After we got our stuff and headed back to our apartment complex the laughing guy that took a picture showed up in his truck, asked me if I wanted to go for a ride on his boat. Did I call that right or what? I knew I'd spotted lust in this eyes.

We rode down to the river after he threw my Hoverround in the back of his F150 pickup truck. Told me his name was Bill, he was new to the area and was supposed to bring a date to this boating jaunt his friends invited him to. But when we got to the marina his two pals took one look at me as Bill was helping me get situatied on my Hoverround and brayed with laughter like two stupid asses. One of them pointed at me and said, "Bill, who told you to bring a blimp along? You that afraid of falling in the water that you gotta bring something that big that floats?"

Well sir I was so upset by their remarks that I gunned it, spinning gravel all over those two idiots. But not before I lifted their cooler. Once I got home I had the last laugh as it was packed with beer and all the fixings for hot dogs and a bag of chips.

I just don't understand why it didn't work out like it did for L Anne in her fiction porn tales. I didn't get screwed by a gang of hot guys in a boat on the river like her. Why oh why?

Maybe Bill will show up here again.

I know I'm a big beautiful swanky sexy woman regardless of what those mean jerks said.