Ms BBW Frankenberry

Haven't been around much lately because I've been  in prison again working as Miss Frankenberry in stores across my state. I was convicted of attempted sexual battery on the bakery guys nominated as a great beauty by the cereal company to represent their brand and hand out coupons and samples. I was in county lock-up touring the grocerty stores. Unfortunately since I was locked up for being a sexual predator busy traveling I had to give up my new apartment. I don' know how she did it but Meagan managed to get me back in my old federally funded elderly and handicapped apartment complex by charm and the nekkid photos she has of the manager.

I'm back, I'm settling in, I'm large and in charge. Looking forward to the first bingo night. Wonder where I stashed Eddie's phone number?

On another front I'm seriously thinking about going back to my high school reunion with Tiny Joe and Stinky. They are organiuzing it this year again. I just have to figure out a ways to the Detroit area. St. Melba of the Holy Toast School  Reformatory. Guess I'll post an add on Craigs List looking for a ride or offering to drive someone that cain't drive to that area so I can get to the reunion for free.

For now I have a pile of Lori Anne Carrington books to read and I hear tell Lori is now on some youtube type show. I just have to figure out which one.

Home Sweat Home

For once Meagan did what she promised. She got me an apartment in a small section H-8 housing complex that was all seniors and disabled regular folks. It's not a big complex like the one I was in when I first starteda blogging.

This place is about maybe forty aparments, two stories, on a thin slice of street between two converging rivers. It's tannish brick and all the places are one bedroom. No community centers, no snobby pea hens trying to play canasta, eat dainties, cheat at their games and gossip. That's the good stuff.

Now for the bad. On one side we gots a auto body shop and on the other a big commercial bread bakery. So we got to put up with the banging and clanging of the auto shop during the day and the tantalizing smell of fresh baking bread all night. There are some hot guys working at both places and I can see the bakery from my bedroom window.

The place is okay, a little small, but it's all  mine! Meagan got me some sort of a victim of crime (because of the cult) stipend to start over. She took me down to the Goodwill local nice dept store to pick out furniture and stuff I needed with the money. Now I'm set up on my own, not alot of stuff yet but the start, including a new wardrobe. Plus it turns out that some of my belongings were put in storage while I was away so I didn't need as much as I thought I might! All my good men-lurin' undies and L Anne Carrington books were intact.

It's taken me the better part of this week to settle in and get the place just the way I like it.  But I've had to sleep in because the bakery men are keeping me awake all night, the smells and I see them when they come out to catch a smoke. Wonder what's the best way to strike up a conversation with one of those studs.

Hateful Biddies

I'm having to spent most of this weekend in my room reading the romance wressling novels of my favorite author L. Anne Carrington. I ain't read "The Cruiserweight's Daughter" and "Beautiful" and I cain't WAIT till the new one she did for Nanowrimo that those jellus skeelton whores said was faked comes out. Something called "Klass Act"

There are some hateful biddies here, not all of them skeleton whores, many as curvy and womanly as myself and Miss L. Anne. Most of them are either straight out of jail or straight out of rehab, not the type of classy ladies I usually share a building with. Trashy tramps with undyed hair and too much or too little makeup, missing teeth and with tattoos. Tattoos! Can you imagine!

One of them was reading over my shoulder when I was at one of L. Anne Carrington's author pages to read some of her "Cougars and Studs" romances. First one started laughing, slapped me on the back of the head and screeched I was reading porn, bad porn and porn she's seen elsewhere.

As I kept screaming for the house mother this trashy whore and her friends pushed my Hoverround back from the computer screen and started hooting and laughing over the books and L. Anne's beautiful pictures, calling her a 'fat old granny type white woman' that needs to stick to knitting and her cats instead of hot porn. The worst one kept yelling that there was no way L. Anne could ever had had sex as big and frumpy as she is.

I hightailed it out of there, crankying my Hoverround up to 11 and trucking down the street to the Pachos All You Can Eat Mexican Buffett. I stayed there till after dark and drowned my sorrows and fright in turkey flautas and sopapia breadds. When I got back they'd moved on to something else, still around the computer and paying no mind when I came in.

I've been hiding in my room since, except for meal time. Those bitches have been complaining that I can't do chores and the rest of them can. Meagan has been promising me she'd have me in a new apartment by now but nothing turned up till Friday. She's supposed to be moving me on Monday and I cannot wait! I'm in with too many lowlifes here.

Dirty Liars

Since I'm not able to help out much here in this halfway house/homeless place Meagan my social worker has stashed me I've been cruising the internets with the computer here when I'm not watching UFC and wressling.

Found out that my favorite author Lori Anne Carrington has another book coming out soon!! Squeeeeeeeeeal!!! I found out through looking at some stupid site people write books on, nanowrimo.org Turns out there are tons of mean jellus heifers there that are accusing L. Anne of cheating by writing ten thousand words a day on her new book. They are trying to sasys that she wrote it earlier and uploaded bits pof it everyay ayd day (sorry, I spilted Fanta on the keyb oard and the letters are stickinng now!)

There is no whay that is true! L.Anne Carrington is a classyu full-figureds beauty and writter of Integgratea! She would no more cheat than eat offa some celebrities plate at one of the big swanky to-doos she attends as an expert on wressling.

They are just bitter jellus skeleton whores!!

You keepe on writting L. Anne!

L Anne Carrington Romance Books!

While I'm killing time at this halfway house my social worker Meagan has me stashed at I got a gift from some nice lady what works with the poor fat uneducated criminal disabled people. She's from one of the local country clubs. She gave me a Kindle. Okay, so it's an older Kindle ereader type thing. She gave it to me because I said I liked to read and the only reading material in this place are Bibles and Guidepost Magazines. Nothing exciting.

The ereader had about a dozen books on it already and she give me a gift card for twenty bucks since I can't work and my Hoverround makes it impossible for me to help out here while I'm waiting for permanent housing. I hope I get it soon because the food served around here is sort of like jail food. Lots of baloney, noodles, tuna and peanut butter. But you can eat as much as you want.

After another baloney sandwish and chips I decided to hang out in my room and fire up this ereader thingie and download some of those wrestling romantical books by L. Anne Carrington also known as Lori Anne Dennick. She writes so purty and it makes me all hot and bothered.

But when I went to Amazone and spelled out Wrasslin' Romance Novels there were a ton of them and I had to search hard to see hers cuz they were down at the bottom of the list. How did that happen? I don't get it at all! Someone needs to start a pattision!  It ain't fair!

I Has A Sad!

I knows, I knows, I been gone a long ass time now.. most of a year.

It's been a doozy of a year.

I got the terrible runs right after Jacky left and I hot footted it over to the Piggly Wiggly on the corner after watching some teevee. The pharmasist gave me all sorts of suggestions for getting my dieahreeha...err, dierearreeda... hmmm, the shits stopped.

Nothing he told me worked. So I had to charge my Hoverround up to full battery and get on over to the Rite Aide. The guy there told me something different, sold me some different pills and sent me on my way. It was slow going getting there and getting back because my runs were so bad I had to pad the seat of the Hoverround with towels incase I leaked or got the uncontrolable shits again. I guess I should lay off those deep fried jalepenos because it started right after I had two boxes of them.

As I was motoring across the shopping center parking lot this hot guy approached me. He handed me some papers, a pamplet and all sorts of shit talking about the end of the world and who would be saved. He was the hottest bald man I ever did see. He wore a white robe, Jesus sandals and big black aviator sunglasses. He was from a religious organization called the  Solstice Inquisitors Softened Sufferers of Yesteryears Soldiers, or SISSYS for short. 

I didn't know what SISSYS did but this fellow was so swanky and promising of a better life that I found myself drawn in. He told me that once all the SISSYS beam up to the space ship and land on the planet of Outer Solstistine they would need good strong breeders like me to repopulate the joint. He promised me that I would be revered and loved by the SISSYS and I could start contributing right now.

Things around my part of the planeet ain't been so great, so I decided to go with him. Go home just long enough to pack a suitcase and come right back. They would take care of me and, to boot, I'd get some good hot lovin' to help make more SISSYS.

Got packed and high tailed right back to the parking lot. By this time a big black van with dark tinted windows showed up with a few other hunky dudes wearing robes with shaved heads. They picked me and my Hoverround up and tossed us into the back of the van and I was on my way to a new life.

It was full assed darkness by the time we got to the SISSYS compound. Looked like a big warehouse in the middle of nowhere. It was and it was divided into cubicles for living and big open spaces for activities, like worship and orgies. The next morning they shaved my head and I was issued my very own SISSYS robe. Thankfully my runs had stopped so I didn't ruin the robe with my shit.

Kept asking them when the next orgy was only to be told it would would be on the next solstice, not a moment before and The Leader would decide who got schtupped and who didn't.

I kept trying to flirt with the guys but no one paid no mind. It was like they was robots are something.  Started thinking that this sucked after I realized there were a ton of skeleton whores there too but I couldn't leave. The Leader locked us in and I'd signed away my SSI payments to SISSYS. Every time I'd make noises about leaving I'd have to spend a couple of days in the Reflection Room, listening to round the clock taped sermonds by The Leader and being deprived of anything to eat or drink. I was positively faintified by the end of the Reflection sessions and would say anything just to get some small scrap of bean porrige we lived on.

Finally! The Solstice came and the orgy was scheduled. My lady parts were throbbing with anticipation, at least till I got a load of the official Orgy List posted on the wall. My name weren't on it! I was assigned to watch the kids during the orgy. I fumed and sat around  with a couple of dozen brats while the skeleton whores were getting the sex I shoulda been having.

This went on again and again and again till I couldn't take no more. I kept looking for a chance to escape but it just never came. I didn't come either.

Finally I just decided to ditch a few minutes into the Solstice Orgy, left the disgusting snot nosed brats by themselves and squoze myself and my Hoverround out of the garbage chute and out onto the blacktop before running my ride at full speed down the lonesome highway. Once I got to a payphone I called my old social worker Meagan. She come and got me. All of this took place before the end of the four hour orgy. I spent a couple of nights in a homeless shelter before Meagan helped me get set up again on my own.

Cross my  heart and swear to Jesus that I will never go off with a hot guy whho wants me to join his cult ever again. Been so long since I've had good loving I'm revirginized again. I did lose 40 pounds on the bean gruel at the place.