Problems

I haven't posted in awhile because I've been heartbroken like the Cleveland Indians.

First, some busy body showed up at Cletus Clydeburn Ridge McStuddmuffin's house and showed him a pornography DVD called "The Carnival Ride". It showed some pretty woman getting gang banged by corn dogs and carnies in the Bouncy Castle.  They were insisting it was me!

Cletus Ridge believed them and he came storming over with the DVD, trying to insist it was me! As if! The woman was beautifyl enough to be me and she has the same sort of womenly grayceful curves and lucious tatas I have but it twrunt me. At least that's what I convinced Cletus Ridge of. I didn't tell Cletus Ridge about my night at the carnival but he doesn't need to know, besides that was not me even if she did have a birthmark like mine on my butt.

All this commotion upset me so grately I ended up miscarrying PeeWee and PeeChee. When I showed Cletus Ridge my bloody tampon holding the bodies of his twins he went nuts. Started shoving me around. And this was during that awful hurricane Whatsis so I had no where to go. He accused me all sorts of things before bruising my arm by twisting it. I called the cops and he went to jail for domestic assault.

This was on a Saturday and when thte trial was held on Monday morning Cletus Ridge was found guilty, ordered to leave the state forever and not to contact me. His daughters packed his place and he left. I got a check from the Victims Relief Fund but not even enough money to buy extra Twinkies and Snickers Fun Sized packs could heal my broken heart and empty twat. Sigh,. Life Sucks.