I knows, I knows, I been gone a long ass time now.. most of a year.
It's been a doozy of a year.
I got the terrible runs right after Jacky left and I hot footted it over to the Piggly Wiggly on the corner after watching some teevee. The pharmasist gave me all sorts of suggestions for getting my dieahreeha...err, dierearreeda... hmmm, the shits stopped.
Nothing he told me worked. So I had to charge my Hoverround up to full battery and get on over to the Rite Aide. The guy there told me something different, sold me some different pills and sent me on my way. It was slow going getting there and getting back because my runs were so bad I had to pad the seat of the Hoverround with towels incase I leaked or got the uncontrolable shits again. I guess I should lay off those deep fried jalepenos because it started right after I had two boxes of them.
As I was motoring across the shopping center parking lot this hot guy approached me. He handed me some papers, a pamplet and all sorts of shit talking about the end of the world and who would be saved. He was the hottest bald man I ever did see. He wore a white robe, Jesus sandals and big black aviator sunglasses. He was from a religious organization called the Solstice Inquisitors Softened Sufferers of Yesteryears Soldiers, or SISSYS for short.
I didn't know what SISSYS did but this fellow was so swanky and promising of a better life that I found myself drawn in. He told me that once all the SISSYS beam up to the space ship and land on the planet of Outer Solstistine they would need good strong breeders like me to repopulate the joint. He promised me that I would be revered and loved by the SISSYS and I could start contributing right now.
Things around my part of the planeet ain't been so great, so I decided to go with him. Go home just long enough to pack a suitcase and come right back. They would take care of me and, to boot, I'd get some good hot lovin' to help make more SISSYS.
Got packed and high tailed right back to the parking lot. By this time a big black van with dark tinted windows showed up with a few other hunky dudes wearing robes with shaved heads. They picked me and my Hoverround up and tossed us into the back of the van and I was on my way to a new life.
It was full assed darkness by the time we got to the SISSYS compound. Looked like a big warehouse in the middle of nowhere. It was and it was divided into cubicles for living and big open spaces for activities, like worship and orgies. The next morning they shaved my head and I was issued my very own SISSYS robe. Thankfully my runs had stopped so I didn't ruin the robe with my shit.
Kept asking them when the next orgy was only to be told it would would be on the next solstice, not a moment before and The Leader would decide who got schtupped and who didn't.
I kept trying to flirt with the guys but no one paid no mind. It was like they was robots are something. Started thinking that this sucked after I realized there were a ton of skeleton whores there too but I couldn't leave. The Leader locked us in and I'd signed away my SSI payments to SISSYS. Every time I'd make noises about leaving I'd have to spend a couple of days in the Reflection Room, listening to round the clock taped sermonds by The Leader and being deprived of anything to eat or drink. I was positively faintified by the end of the Reflection sessions and would say anything just to get some small scrap of bean porrige we lived on.
Finally! The Solstice came and the orgy was scheduled. My lady parts were throbbing with anticipation, at least till I got a load of the official Orgy List posted on the wall. My name weren't on it! I was assigned to watch the kids during the orgy. I fumed and sat around with a couple of dozen brats while the skeleton whores were getting the sex I shoulda been having.
This went on again and again and again till I couldn't take no more. I kept looking for a chance to escape but it just never came. I didn't come either.
Finally I just decided to ditch a few minutes into the Solstice Orgy, left the disgusting snot nosed brats by themselves and squoze myself and my Hoverround out of the garbage chute and out onto the blacktop before running my ride at full speed down the lonesome highway. Once I got to a payphone I called my old social worker Meagan. She come and got me. All of this took place before the end of the four hour orgy. I spent a couple of nights in a homeless shelter before Meagan helped me get set up again on my own.
Cross my heart and swear to Jesus that I will never go off with a hot guy whho wants me to join his cult ever again. Been so long since I've had good loving I'm revirginized again. I did lose 40 pounds on the bean gruel at the place.
