WWLAD?

I wonder what L Anne Carrington would do during a week like mine.

This week I've been a travenling gal. Mary Lynn from my apartment complex asked me if she rented a car would I act as her personal driver to her hometown of Shipshewanna Indiana, or as I like to call it Shit-She-Wanna. Mary Lynn can't see well anymore, those cataracs put her in a troubles because there's not planes out to Shitshewanna so it's driving or nutting. We drove here and next we're goin gto Detroit to do something I want. She's loaded with dough, I know because I took a peek in her purse while she was napping in the seat.

I thought it might be fun so I packed all  my Muu-muus and packed my Hoverround. It is fun, if you like watching corn growing.. it's pretty dull over here, what with the Amish everywhere and not a hot man in sight. Plus it's so hot my sweaty deluxe luxury sized perfect derriere keeps sticking to the sumptious faux leather on the Hoverround seat. I'm very bored. I got warned by the local Cop Shop for almost running over a couple of small Amish kids with my Hoverround. One of those brats pointed at me and said something like "Eine grossich schwiene", whatever that means.

Sos I'm rereading my copy of "The Cruiserweight" and watching a lot of wrestling on Mary Lynn's cousins teevee. Her folks are putting me up in the basement and boy do they know how to cook! Every meal is like an endless buffet at the casinos, not to mention the over the top family restaurants catering to the Amish and Mennonites. I've had mac and cheese (the homemade kind), corn straight out of the garden, ham, bbq pork, noodle salads and 8 different kinds of pies.Best part o being here is the fridge in the corner of the basement holding all the big buffet trays of food leftover from the family reunion Mary Lynn went to. Getting ready to have a second midnight snack.

Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair washed and styled and my toenails repainted. It's too hard to reach up to my head to wash it good because of my healthy arms and I cannot reach my toes. Plus I want to look spiffy when I go up to my high school class reunion in a few days in Michigan.

Best part of the trip so far? All those free beers I downed at the riverboat casino plus the pies. Oh lawdy, if the Lord didn't mean for me to eat pies He wouldn't have made them so damn delicious. I won six bucks at the casino and some hot looking older gentleman trtied to teach me how to play craps. I told him the only craps i know about are when I down a whole box of Krispy Kremes in one sitting.