Going In Circles

I slept in the car after Mary Lynn's family took exception with my use of the guest bathroom shower curtain. It weren't too bad but I did start scratching at Mary Lynn's bedroom window at the crack of dawn sos she'd get up and get ready to go. We were supposed to drive to the town I went to skhool in, Lansing Michigan so tomorrow night I could attend the reunion of my graudating class from St. Melba of the Holy Toast High School Reformatory.


Because I was so sleepy this morning without any grub or coffee from Mary Lynn's sisters house I went the wrong way out of Shitshawanna. Mary Lynn was no help, she went right back to sleep, snoring as I rolled through Fort Wayne and Richmond Indiana. Hell, I was most of the way to Cincinnatti by the time I realized I'd made a mistake. Mary Lynn started screeching at me that I was a durn fool that was gonna get us kilt so I slipped a couple of my zanax stash into her Metamuscil water. She passed out pretty quickly. She was still sleeping when I ran into the nearest Mickey Dees and ordered 3 extra value meals with pies.

I've been dieting good but I had to calm my nerves and figure out what to do because I surely did not want her to wake up and give me crap again. I had to keep reminding myself to stop shaking because some of those little kids with the pudding bowl haircuts and their Amish daddy kept staring at me. I guess that Amish guy had never seen lovely all natural 52ZZZ breasts before. Too bad I didn't have time to find out what Amish guys are like in the sack.

Decided to go to a nearby park, where I used some homemade chloroform to knock out Mary Lynn further, duct taped her mouth and hands and locked her ass in the truck of the rental car. She was quiet all the way back to Shitsheawanna so I decided to stop, visit Yoder's Dept. Store again and get something to wear to the reunion. I was just coming out clutching a sassy white t shirt and black overalls when I heard this gawdawful screech and saw Mary Lynn jump out of the trunk of our rented Buick! She was pointing at me and screaming I drugged her!

So I jumped into the next passing vehicle, a horse drawn buggy, pushed aside some old geezer with a ZZ Top beard and fled. The old guy shouted 'Miene Gott Im Himmell!' and a bunch of other bearded ZZ Top looking guys came run. I jumped and rolled, jumped into the drivers seat of the rental car and sped off, trunk aflappin' in the wind. Left Mary Lynn behind and took backroads into Michigan.

Just checked into a hotel of college kids, switched tags with another vehicle and eaten two Bonnie Burgers at Bonnie's Burgers here in Lansing Michigan. Checked in as Francine LaFargia, one of the skeleton whores from the 4th but paided with cash. No one's gonna know.

Getting ready to get claim my free drink at the bar and sit in a hot tub filled with fine hot young college studs. Maybe I'll get lucky, I'm wearing my lucky rhinestonned crocs.