Miss Pig

I found out last night that a Pig Party is not something you should ever want to attend if you're a lady. I'm still upset and trembling from what happened last night. I haven't been answering the door or the phone today. I've been sitting here in the dark with a package of baloney, white bread and mayo eating sandwiches and chips ahoy cookies to calm my mind.

Right after posting last night I started getting ready for the party. I took a bath, thoroughly washing all my parts with a washrag on a stick dipped into Joy dishwashing liquid. I wanted to smell nice just in case my date turned intimate. I curled my hair to look like Betty White and used the last of my Maybelline Wet n' Wild makeup, blue eye shadow, pink blush, pink lipstick before donning my new clothes and black Crocs.

I waited on the sidewalk in front of the apartments a long long time before Chester pulled up in his van. Unfortunately we couldn't get my Rascal into the van so I had to chain it to stop sign before getting into the van. Chester looked yummy! Short brown hair, he looks like a young Taylor Hicks but with prettier eyes. He belched a lot and smelled like beer. He was such a gentleman at first, offering me a Mickey's Big Mouth Malt Liquor for the ride to the frat house. He's a member of Tappa Kegga Breu.

When we got to the frat house I was feeling no pain because I'd had four Mickeys at that point. The party room in the house was decorated with farmyard things, bales of hay, real live goats, sheep and a calf. Most of the guys seemed pretty drunk already and there was a wide selection of booze. I was careful not to step in the piles of poo from the animals as I didn't want to ruin my shoes.

Most of the guys had dates but boy, was I surprised at who they brought. No uppity skeleton whore types at all. There were many fat gals and a whole lot of very ugly girls. No one was making out, just standing around drinking until the music started. No one danced but one dude got up and announced into the lone microphone that they were almost ready to crown Miss Pig of the night.

By that time all the Mickeys I drank combined with all the cheap wine and Chester started looking pretty good to me. I kept batting my eyelashes at him and smiling but he still didn't get the message that I wanted to screw so I grabbed his fine tight ass and rubbed up against him. He pushed me away and said, "Knock it off. I wouldn't bang you if you were the last nasty ho on the planet."

Chester shoved me just hard enough to make me lose my balance, I fell down gasping, "Then what am I doing here if it's not romantic. Don't you want to spurt milky white ropes of cum in me?'

He snickered and said, "Are you kidding? You're my entry for the Miss Pig contest." Before I could react to his shocking words the MC announced my name as Miss Pig. Everyone laughed at me and pointed and yelled 'Soooooooey!'. I could feel myself turning red and I RAN out of the room shrieking, trying to get as far away from those laughing jackasses as possible.

Took me an hour to get home using the bus system. Some old toothless wino at the main bus station offered me five bucks to sleep with him but I ignored his uncultured ass.

Tomorrow is another day and I'll show all these sniggering idiots, I'll diet, I'll exercise and I'll lose the weight! Help me L Anne!!