Ice Creamed

I woke up so excited this morning because today was the day that Cletus Clydeburn errrr, Ridge McStuddmuffins was moving into my apartment complex. He'd been near me and since we hit it off so swell it would be nice to have a regular suitor courting me.

As soon as I was done with my pesky hour of filing records for Meagan at Social Services I hopped on the bus and high tailed it back home. I ignored the sales at the Piggly Wiggly, I ignored the hot dogs calling my name at the Dairy King and I ignored my new foodstamp allotment and SSI check, I just wanted to check up on my new boyfriend.

I may have given up on dieting after Lori Anne said in her book 'Fifty' that you shouldn't even try but I haven't given up on love. I rushed as fast as my Hoverround would go, hurrying over to Mary Lynn's old apartment three buildings over. There was a U-Haul parked out front with hefty looking young guys bringing furniture and boxes across the courtyard to Mary Lynn's old place. I didn't mean to but I ran over the foot of one of the guys and pushed another one over by accident cranking the throttle on my Hoverround in haste to see my darlin' but when I got to the front door Ridge acted like he didn't know me. Two younger skeleton whore looking women were unpacking for him and one of them asked if she could help me. But I was busy trying to get Ridge to remember me. He said he was pleased to meet me but he had things he needed to do to get all moved in. Shut the door in my face after telling me he'd see me around at Canasta.

My trembling heart broke and I sadly went over to the Piggly Wiggly for a couple of gallons of ice cream and the trimmings. Drowned my troubles in Rocky Road and Butter Pecan. What will I do if I'm pregnant by him with twins?